Positivity

Over the last few days, I have spent a lot of time thinking about how my entire mindset has changed over the last few years. Back before I reached the point when I believed that my life was a burden to myself and to those around me, I somehow failed to see or appreciate the positive aspects of my life. Now it seems that the reverse is true and for this I am truly thankful. Whereas before, all that I had been through overwhelmed me and stole my entire focus, I now actually find myself searching out the positive in every situation, no matter how bad. And amazingly enough, to me anyway, every situation has a positive side. You just have to take the time to find it.

To see how massive the effect of this mindset is, I look at the examples of two close friends. Both have been through some pretty rough times, lost loved ones and sunk into that dark place where there just doesn't seem to be any hope. But the way they have dealt with it is completely opposite. One found her way to the positive side, waking up each day and searching out the things that she could be grateful for. She lives her life focussing on the positives. This is not to say that there aren't any negatives in her life, but she chooses to look the other way. As a result, she has a full and happy life, with a large circle of friends who genuinely care about her and love spending time in her company.

On the opposite side, my other friend is almost entirely focussed on the negative things in her life. And she has spiralled out of control. Depression has a grip on her and her life seems to be a constant struggle. Many of her friends have had to take a step back from her. I know that sounds awful, but it is a sad fact. Negativity has a downward affect on those who come into contact with it. As friends, we have tried everything we can think of to help her deal with things, but to no avail. So to protect ourselves, we have had to excuse ourselves from her life. Her total focus on the negative side of her life is not only isolating her from those who care about her, but it is also preventing her from seeing the positives.

I know how hard it is to alter a negative mindset, but I am also aware that you have to want to do it. Acknowledging that the negativity is a problem is the first step and that is then followed by the necessity to be willing to make the effort. It doesn't just happen and takes time and perseverance, but eventually it becomes a habit.

No matter what the situation now, I find it easier and easier to find the positive side. It also helps that I firmly believe that you cannot fully appreciate the good stuff without the bad. Just like the night sky – the stars would not look half as beautiful if the sky wasn't so dark – you don't see them during the day do you? But they are still there.