Connections

“For all the artifice of the modern world, for all the smart phones, tablets and gadgets, we're no more connected now than we have ever been. If anything, we may have become more disconnected, thanks to the technologies that circumscribe our digital existence. Social media which assigns our friends a number and not a value, automated machines which keep us from interacting with human beings, passwords and ciphers which codify and compartmentalise our very identities.

But what good are these wonders of technology if they keep us running at such a fast pace, so busy that we risk missing what is right in front of our eyes? Because the true value of human endeavour lies not in feats of science, not in the push of a button or the blink of an eye, but in connecting with other people.”

I recently typed up this speech after hearing it on one of my favourite daytime TV programmes. It opened my eyes to something that I have never really thought about before and actually highlighted what could be viewed as a danger to people who are trying to deal with issues in their lives. Whilst I will never deny that today's technologies improve our lives - keeping us in touch with far flung friends and family, allowing us to access and control areas of our finances and businesses previously closed to us, enabling us to study and learn more about the world around us at the click of a mouse – it has also erected a barrier between us and those who are a part of our lives.

One thing I love is the simple hug. Such a small thing, but so powerful. Or seeing the smile in someone's eyes when they bump in to you unexpectedly. A gentle touch, saying I am right here and willing to have you in my personal space. Talking to someone, face to face and knowing that you have their attention and they are not tapping away halfheartedly at the keyboard whilst actually focusing on something else that you cannot see. Are we losing that?

And if we take this a step further, where does that leave us when it comes to our relationships with the young people in our lives? How easy will it be for them to hide the things in their lives that they are afraid to share with us? How simple will it be for them to disguise the way they are really feeling when all we see are their carefully considered words, with nothing to show their true emotions?

I spent so many years hiding how I was truly feeling from those who knew me. And looking back now, social media had a large role to play in that. I recall on one occasion chatting to a family member online, apparently happy, joking and laughing, whilst in fact I was hiding from my boys in my bedroom, sobbing. I didn't want anyone to know what I was feeling and the internet in particular provided the perfect protection and even disguise.

I remember after my suicide attempt, a good friend apologising for the fact that she did not realise how I had been feeling. Now I look back and can see how I used the internet as a shield which still allowed me to seem to communicate with everyone, whilst hiding away and building my strength back up to face the world outside, hidden by my disguise.

We are slowly but surely allowing today's technologies to distance us from those around us, without even realising it. And I am suddenly afraid of how dangerous this could prove to be. We were given five senses for a reason and when they work together they are unimaginably powerful, not only to give, but to also to receive. Maybe it's time we all took a step back and took a good look at what we are throwing away. Maybe we need to evaluate our usage of social media and the impact it is having on how we interact with those in our lives and take action before it is too late and we forget just how important it is to spend time with each other without some piece of technology stopping us making a proper connection.