Survivors and Victims

Having time off work has had one totally unexpected benefit.  With so much spare time on my hands I have had the opportunity to research Child Sexual Abuse on the internet.  I’ve looked at all sorts of items, ranging from personal accounts through to scholarly articles.  And one thing has become abundantly clear – although we are more aware now than ever before of the signs of Child Sexual Abuse and the damage it does, we still prefer to turn a blind eye to it.

Not just to us, those who have survived into adulthood, but also to the many children who are now being subjected to this horrific crime.  And I have started to wonder why that is?  Surely if we know firstly that Child Sexual Abuse is illegal and secondly that the effects are not just short term, but will remain with the victim for the rest of their lives, then surely we should be more active in preventing it?

And yet it is still something of a taboo subject.  We do not talk about it with our children and young people.  Very little practical information is included in school curriculums.  Survivors who speak out are often treated with contempt, losing the support of family members and friends.

A recurring theme among the accounts from Survivors is the fear of people finding out.  Not only when they were children and the abuse was ongoing, but even now into their adulthood.  Today I read the statement of a young woman who has only recently become known within the Survivors community and my heart was breaking as I read her words of self-doubt and fear.  Fear of people finding out what had been done to her.  Fear of how her abuser would react if she reported the abuse to the Police.  Fear of how her family would react to the revelations.  And of course, the common guilt that all Survivors feel.  

Guilt because we didn’t stop it.  Guilt because we didn’t tell someone about what was happening.  Guilt because we have hidden it for so long.

Why should this lovely young woman, at a point in her life when she should be revelling in her life and enjoying herself, instead be hiding away her true self and her real feelings from the eyes of those around her?  Why should she be carrying such a burden of guilt?  

I knew as I read her words, that there were so many things I could say, but they were all the things that have been said to me, time and again, and I know deep down that I cannot help her.  No-one can.  All that anyone can do is be there for her to talk to, yell at when she needs to and hug her when she feels vulnerable and insecure.

Because I know.  I have been there.  I am there now.  And I will be there again in the future.

So with all this suffering going on around us, isn’t it time for those who can to speak out in support of the Survivors and Victims of Child Sexual Abuse.  Discuss it with your family, talk about it with your children and raise the issue with your colleagues.  Maybe just maybe someone you know has been affected and when they realise that there is support out there for them, they will have the power to speak up.

You might even save someone’s life!