This question is driving me insane. On the one hand it really doesn’t make any sense. But then on the other, I can sort of understand it.
Adult Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse! That is what we are.
There are a lot of us, I know. Personally I have already met or talked to many of them, both here in England and from other countries around the World. Our stories are all different. We come from lots of different backgrounds; handle our plight in different ways. We’re different ages now and live in differing circumstances. We are women and men. There are so many differences between us. But we all have one thing in common – we were sexually abused as children and are now trying to find our way out of the horror that lurks within.
And we have another thing in common – we hide our dirty little secret.
Why is that do you suppose? Why do we need to keep the facts of what was done to us tucked away in a dark place, where it festers, eating away at us, lurking in the shadows, waiting to thrust itself into our consciousness when we least expect it?
There are many reasons – we feel guilty that we allowed it to happen; we fear the reactions of other people; we fear not being believed; we don’t want to upset our families; we fear our abusers; these are but a few reasons.
But when I start to think about it a little bit more, I become angry. Why should we have these fears and concerns? Why should we be considerate of the sensibilities of other’s? Where were these same people when we were being subjected to the most terrible abuse a person can imagine? Why did they not protect us?
And maybe this is the answer to the question. Society does not want to know about the suffering of the adult survivors because if they acknowledge what we have gone through, if they allow us to come out into the sunlight, then they would have to accept some of the responsibility for this massive failing.
Because if you think about it and I mean really think about it, how often do you hear the story of an adult who has survived sexual abuse as a child? We hear so much about people who are starving, people who are carers, people who are addicted to drugs and/or alcohol, bullying, the list is endless but when did you last hear the story of an adult who is suffering as a result of child sexual abuse? I don’t mean to belittle the plight of these others, but I cannot help but get angry when I hear about all the money that is donated and directed towards them, only to notice that as always, we have been forgotten.
And yes, I do think we are partly to blame, because we don’t make enough noise. But honestly, there actually aren’t many of us who can. Most of us fight daily with our lack of self-confidence and low self-esteem and have very little strength left to try and get our plight noticed. But even when one of us succeeds in getting the issue into the news, it seems that no one wants to acknowledge it.
I think it’s time that people started to realise that child sexual abuse has been happening for many years and the victims from 30 and 40 years ago are still suffering at the hands of their abusers. We need help and support that is just not there for us and it isn’t fair. It’s time that we got this imbalance corrected. For all of our sakes.
