“For
all the artifice of the modern world, for all the smart phones,
tablets and gadgets, we're no more connected now than we have ever
been. If anything, we may have become more disconnected, thanks to
the technologies that circumscribe our digital existence. Social
media which assigns our friends a number and not a value, automated
machines which keep us from interacting with human beings, passwords
and ciphers which codify and compartmentalise our very identities.
But
what good are these wonders of technology if they keep us running at
such a fast pace, so busy that we risk missing what is right in front
of our eyes? Because the true value of human endeavour lies not in
feats of science, not in the push of a button or the blink of an eye,
but in connecting with other people.”
I
recently typed up this speech after hearing it on one of my favourite
daytime TV programmes. It opened my eyes to something that I have
never really thought about before and actually highlighted what could
be viewed as a danger to people who are trying to deal with issues in
their lives. Whilst I will never deny that today's technologies
improve our lives - keeping us in touch with far flung friends and
family, allowing us to access and control areas of our finances and
businesses previously closed to us, enabling us to study and learn
more about the world around us at the click of a mouse – it has
also erected a barrier between us and those who are a part of our
lives.
One
thing I love is the simple hug. Such a small thing, but so powerful.
Or seeing the smile in someone's eyes when they bump in to you
unexpectedly. A gentle touch, saying I am right here and willing to
have you in my personal space. Talking to someone, face to face and
knowing that you have their attention and they are not tapping away
halfheartedly at the keyboard whilst actually focusing on something
else that you cannot see. Are we losing that?
And
if we take this a step further, where does that leave us when it
comes to our relationships with the young people in our lives? How
easy will it be for them to hide the things in their lives that they
are afraid to share with us? How simple will it be for them to
disguise the way they are really feeling when all we see are their
carefully considered words, with nothing to show their true emotions?
I
spent so many years hiding how I was truly feeling from those who
knew me. And looking back now, social media had a large role to play
in that. I recall on one occasion chatting to a family member
online, apparently happy, joking and laughing, whilst in fact I was
hiding from my boys in my bedroom, sobbing. I didn't want anyone to
know what I was feeling and the internet in particular provided the
perfect protection and even disguise.
I
remember after my suicide attempt, a good friend apologising for the
fact that she did not realise how I had been feeling. Now I look
back and can see how I used the internet as a shield which still
allowed me to seem to communicate with everyone, whilst hiding away
and building my strength back up to face the world outside, hidden by
my disguise.
We
are slowly but surely allowing today's technologies to distance us
from those around us, without even realising it. And I am suddenly
afraid of how dangerous this could prove to be. We were given five
senses for a reason and when they work together they are unimaginably
powerful, not only to give, but to also to receive. Maybe it's time
we all took a step back and took a good look at what we are throwing
away. Maybe we need to evaluate our usage of social media and the
impact it is having on how we interact with those in our lives and
take action before it is too late and we forget just how important it
is to spend time with each other without some piece of technology
stopping us making a proper connection.
