Yes! It's that time of year - Panto time!! I know I am truly back from Afghanistan now that rehearsals for our Pantomime have started. It's really strange that I've been home for eight months, but it is only now that it is really starting to sink in. I've been busy with a play, then a musical with my AmDram group, I'm working full time and of course there's my Aerial Gymnastics - but it is the start of Panto rehearsals that has made it real.
First rehearsal last night was 'interesting'. The casting went as I anticipated and I am pleased to say that I am in the dancing chorus. I have never attempted to join in with the dancers before because of my weight, but thanks to Aerial I feel I've lost a sufficient amount to be able to deport myself gracefully! Notwithstanding of course, any weight loss over the next few months. I'm also in the singing chorus, but for me that is not so much of a challenge as it is a bit of fun.
The dancing is the thing. I have not danced properly in years as I've felt pretty self-conscious about my weight. I am sure part of that was connected with my low self-esteem. I know I have always been an accomplished dancer, but it is a little frightening returning to it after so many years. But if I don't do it now, I don't think I ever will. I'm most definitely not as slender as I was when I was younger, but I am hoping that with society's views having altered so much over the years, that won't be an issue. In fact, it was probably only ever an issue in my eyes...
Not entirely sure what dancing we are going to be doing - the only one I'm sure of is a tap number! That will most definitely stretch my abilities, as it is the discipline that has evolved the most, especially recently. The style is so much looser now and definitely more relaxed, so I am going to have to fight the inclination to 'present', with a straight spine, stretched neck, shoulders pushed back, etc. But isn't that really what my journey is all about? Working with the hand I have been dealt and turning it into something positive? Challenge accepted!!
Thursday 8 October 2015
Tuesday 6 October 2015
33 Years Later: Looking to the future
33 Years Later: Looking to the future: Well, I know that I've said it before, but I definitely think it is time that I moved this blog along. My life is definitely no longer ...
Looking to the future
Well, I know that I've said it before, but I definitely think it is time that I moved this blog along. My life is definitely no longer about the fact that I survived Child Sexual Abuse. Who I am will always be as a result of what I suffered, but I've moved so far from who I was when I started this blog that it seems ridiculous to keep the focus on that suffering.
Instead, I want to celebrate where I am now. The objective of my blog initially was to reach out to others who had been abused and to provide information to those who might know other victims. Because of that I have clung on to the theme of abuse within my blog, but it is becoming harder and harder to find anything to say! And that is a good thing.
I got to thinking about whether I should shut down this blog and start another. But then it struck me - the abuse is a huge part of who I am today and probably what has driven me to take on new and interesting challenges in my life. So surely if I continue with this blog, but move it forward the central theme will still be relevant to other Survivors? Of course it will! If I can get through it, then maybe that will be a more positive message and an incentive for other's to use what they have been through to make their lives better, rather than allowing it to destroy them.
So, onwards and upwards. As I've said previously, I have taken up Aerial Gymnastics and of course, now that I am back home, have immersed myself in my local Amateur Theatre Group. These two activities are keeping me more than busy and added to my work and family, my life is full. You can now expect less posts about my past and more about my present.
I would love it if you join me on this continuing adventure and to any Survivors who happen to stumble across this blog remember - there is a future for you, you just have to reach out and take it!
Instead, I want to celebrate where I am now. The objective of my blog initially was to reach out to others who had been abused and to provide information to those who might know other victims. Because of that I have clung on to the theme of abuse within my blog, but it is becoming harder and harder to find anything to say! And that is a good thing.
I got to thinking about whether I should shut down this blog and start another. But then it struck me - the abuse is a huge part of who I am today and probably what has driven me to take on new and interesting challenges in my life. So surely if I continue with this blog, but move it forward the central theme will still be relevant to other Survivors? Of course it will! If I can get through it, then maybe that will be a more positive message and an incentive for other's to use what they have been through to make their lives better, rather than allowing it to destroy them.
So, onwards and upwards. As I've said previously, I have taken up Aerial Gymnastics and of course, now that I am back home, have immersed myself in my local Amateur Theatre Group. These two activities are keeping me more than busy and added to my work and family, my life is full. You can now expect less posts about my past and more about my present.
I would love it if you join me on this continuing adventure and to any Survivors who happen to stumble across this blog remember - there is a future for you, you just have to reach out and take it!
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