What is it?

A rhetorical question – what is it about me that makes people comfortable?  I honestly don’t know what it is but for some reason I seem to be able to talk to anyone and generally, people respond in a friendly manner.  In fact, in many cases if they are given the opportunity they will confide in me.

I don’t understand it.  It’s not that I don’t love it – I do!  But I question why it happens time and again.  Yes, I have learnt over the years to show my confident and together face to the world.  Very few people can see past the facade to the me who is cowering inside, dying cell by cell as I fear that I am being judged and found wanting.  So is it that false confidence that pulls people or is it something deeper?  Maybe a sense of the pain inside me?  Is there maybe some kind of signal that I give out that let’s people know that I have suffered and through that suffering, learned how to cope?

I stand in a shop each day, serving customer after customer.  I greet them all in the same way – with a smile and a friendly hello.  Of course, there are many occasions when I am dancing around, singing along to a song on the radio or generally goofing about.  But my nutty behaviour only seems to bring out the smiles.  And the chatter commences.  No matter what level the customer, how important their job or how tough their day, they mostly seem to respond with a smile and a willingness to chat. 

And it starts me wondering again – why are they willing to talk to me, a complete stranger?  Why are so many of them happy to discuss their personal circumstances with me when they really don’t know anything about me? 

In fact, I feel truly blessed.  I am thankful every day that I have – well, whatever it is!  I wish I knew what IT was, but I am grateful!