Once I finished my course, I had no choice but to return to Redcliff. And my relationship with Alex took a very strange turn. Somehow I had misplaced the memories of the torment that he had subjected me to. Now all I could see was the wonderful man that everyone else knew. And he stepped into the role of big brother.
He took me to the Gogo’s, to the dances out at the boat club, to the rugby matches on Saturday afternoons. He was there for me. But deep down a part of me was struggling with this new relationship. What was wrong with me that I could now befriend and accept this man who had taken advantage of me in the worst possible way?
The question continued to bother me, but I did not know what to do about it. I couldn’t turn to my parents as I still believed that I would be in terrible trouble for my part in the whole debacle. I couldn’t turn to my brother who was now married and had a home of his own. I couldn’t turn to my aunt and uncle...
So I kept it to myself.
I enrolled on a secretarial course, at my mother’s instigation and mastered the skills of touch typing and shorthand. After all, these were skills that would always be useful. I still did not really know what I wanted to do with my life, other than find a man to love me.
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