A move to England

Then Ryan lost his job.  Zimbabwe does not have a welfare system, so if you were unemployed, you did not have any income or any way to support yourself.  To make matters worse, we were living in a company house, which we would have to vacate.

Panic ensued.  How would we survive with our new family to take care of?  And in came Alex’s sister, offering Ryan a job with the company by whom she was employed in England.  It seemed fortuitous and it never crossed my mind that a move to England would bring me back in to contact with Alex.

Plans were laid, arrangements made and at the beginning of 1989, Ryan flew to England to take up the new job, whilst I remained for a time in Zimbabwe.  The twins and I moved in with my parents, into my old family home.  This lasted for three months while Ryan took time to secure a home and the necessities for me and the boys.

I flew to England in July 1989, with my baby boys and my brother who had just come through a messy divorce and needed a change to help him heal.  Arriving at Gatwick was a terrible shock – Alex had accompanied Ryan to the airport to collect us.  You have to understand that Alex’s behaviour was perfectly normal.  No-one looking, even observing very closely would have picked up even a hint of the turmoil that was boiling just below the surface.  And of course, my acting skills kicked in again, with my babies providing an additional shield.

To say that the three months we spent in England were hell would be to understate the situation.  My confidence, already very low nose-dived until it was almost non-existent.  I developed a major complex about my appearance in general and my weight in particular.  I questioned whether I deserved my life, any life.